So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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