Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize