Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
