I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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