I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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