i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
