Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
