I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Bring me that man meat
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
