She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
