Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
