omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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