i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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