I must be too annoying 4 u.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
