3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
