'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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