I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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