On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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