a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
