Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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