I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
