Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
