we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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