Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
