I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize