So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
