Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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