According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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