she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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