what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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