So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I need a burrito and a hug.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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