id be glad to
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
