she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
