Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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