the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
