I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
