my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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