Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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