I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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