I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
