Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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