Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
