Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
