what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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