Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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