i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
