Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize