who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
