there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
