I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
