Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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