You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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