All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
