Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She even gives head with a lisp.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
