man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
