Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
