idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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