I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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