I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
