He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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