that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
