Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
